Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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