i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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