In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
