The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
