i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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