I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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