Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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