I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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