I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
