I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize