I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
