He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
