Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
