She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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