I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
