I got chris browned last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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