What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
