i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
