i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we're making bets on your personal life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
