Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
