How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
