paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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