Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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