Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
