omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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