I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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