Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
