so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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