I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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