see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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