areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
