I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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