By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dick very happy bro
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
