If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
