instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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