Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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