Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
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I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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