I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
