omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
