Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
FUCK WHALES
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
