Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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