fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
