I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
