Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
false alarm. still invincible.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
