it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
