There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
