Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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