He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
