Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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