UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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