They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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