mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
