hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
