Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
