Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
