I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't put those talents on a resume
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
