I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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