we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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