Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
