He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
