oh god the rape fog is back!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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