I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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