Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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