can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
