k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
